Six months ago I looked to this as the end. Step by step I thought I would walk through MKMMA and “VOILA” I’m a new man. Smarter, leaner maybe a little more handsome (lol). The hero’s journey? Yep! That was for me. Knock this out in six months, no problem.
A new beginning. The daily exercises are simple. What they do is miraculous. I see and feel the change and I’m excited for that. Somewhere about week 17 I knew I couldn’t risk not having all the lessons and workbook assignments so I could keep up with the fundamentals. I love MKMMA. Thank you Don and Leanne for introducing this to me. Thanks Cassandra for your guiding hand. Thanks Mark, Davene and Trish for promises kept. But here is where MKMMA has left me. Somewhere along the way I learned I am love and I must have a special talent. It’s genetic. For 58 years I have done what I was suppose to do. I raised my 6 kids to become contributing members of society. I have earned a good living. I give generously. But now, there is a big hole in my life where I know I hear the Herald’s call but I’m not sure what it’s saying. This feels like the true abyss and , I’m not afraid of it!!! Bring in that big old dragon, we’ll have dragon jerky for snacks!! My sits are now about my PPN and DMP and what they are suppose to be so God can work through me. I have been planning my silence for the middle of April and if mine goes as Mark’s I will be a new man.
This may seem like a whining blog. Please don’t take it as such, I have never been happier or as excited as I am right now. I have been given an opportunity to change. Heck, I may be in my middle ages!!! I have learned so much about myself. I was a self righteous prick. But I’m God’s greatest miracle!!!! I’m Love!!!! I’m grateful!!! I am an observer!!! And so much more.
Cheers to new PPNS and DMP and never stop growing!!!
Love and Peace Rick
Two weeks left. Inventory time! What were my expectations compared to reality? It seems like so long ago I started and then it seems like a flash it’s coming to a new beginning. I know Mark and Davene have kept their promises and have more than earned my trust. I am looking forward to the day when I can meet them and Cassandra, my guide. But, what have I truly gained.
Through the exercises the progressions became very self evident, especially as the were being pointed out weekly but, there is more. The world is beautiful and wondrous place and God is in all things! He moves in a systematic way and, because I am his greatest miricle I can count on him and act fearlessly and couragously!!! Thats a big deal to me. My early years were wrapped in science and spiritual being at odds with each other and God being someone who just wanted to punish me!!!
My mind is all over the place as I am having a hard time with the words I would like use. I can now see this not as a 6 month course!!! Even the procrastination slayer of do it now 25 times a day has opened this for me. When ever I felt overwhelmed and falling back in MKMMA my thinking went back to “quit sweating it, you can always do it again this fall”. That’s like starting a diet tomorrow. That’s procrastination!!! Do it now meant more than loading the dishwasher and taking care of my laundry, although my wife appreciates it! DO it now means if you want a different life it won’t happen tomorrow unless you do the work today. Little things make for huge differences.
With Gratitude, Kindness and Love. Peace
Is it possible the sit can be done anywhere and under any circumstance? Since week one the sit has been a huge challenge for me. To just sit and calm my self for 15 minutes and concentrate is very difficult. I envied those who found a little piece of heaven in their time of silence, it just seemed to be escaping me. I had little baby steps but none so huge that I thought it would change my life. I really tried hard to stay true to the sit even if I didn’t get 15 minutes in. Now my confession, I rarely finished the 15. Very rarely.
In the old movie “Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid” the bandits had to prove how well they could shoot down in South America. Robert Redford could not hit the target when he took his time and aimed. However; he asked if he could move. When he did the fast draw and leaned on reflex he shot the crap out of the target. I always fancied myself like that. I’m better when I move. I try to sit and calm my mind and I will continue to try to sit and calm my mind but, I have noticed the sit comes with me. This is what I mean. The sentence in week 21 that has me thinking is this; “Conequently, if prayer has ever been answered, it will always be answered,”. BAM!!! It is as natural of a law as gravity and electricity. So what do I mean that the sit comes with me?
So, I’m on a flight to Washington D.C. looking out the window on a fairly clear day. And a “sit” happens. A plane full of people, the roar of the engines and some of the most uncomfortable seats known to man. Hardly silence. Looking out the window thinking how the gravitational pull is working on the plane but having complete confidence that an opposite law is keeping the plane in the air and marveling at the ability of mans thoughts. Looking out the window and seeing the vastness of God’s creation and knowing He is in everything. Feeling somewhat insignificant knowing I’m just a blip in all of this. So in all this I begin to realize. I am nature’s greatest miracle!!! God wants to always be one with me and, in fact that is the only way he can get anything done on earth!!! I sat and just basked in the time of complete “silence” with Him. So many things came to me from the previous 20 weeks that I don’t think I could have written them all down. Almost a total “Be still and know that I am God” moment that almost seemed worth everything from MKMMA. Yes, just that time on the plane made it all worth it. Just as the law of keeping a huge chunk of metal in the air from Minneapolis to Washington is the law that says God answers prayer. BOOM!!! If he didn’t the world would be in complete chaos!!! We can plan and exicte whatever our life’s mission is and have the All Powerful on our side!!! How in the world can I fail if I choose to become one with Him. What a fantastic time with God.
I know now those moments are there for me whenever. It isn’t God’s issues, it’s mine. Maybe I just need to slow down and enjoy. Love, have gratitude. Those were the overwhelming thoughts I was having on the trip. Sitting next to the absolute love of my life and looking forward to all six of my kids and all my grandchildren together at the beach. It was an amazing time (breakthrough?) When ever I’m thinking this was a waste of time I will remember this time and know MKMMA can even get some things through to me, Love, thankfulness and kindness be to you!!
This will be my 19th or 20th blog and, the most difficult. Not because of anything other than the words escape me to describe what happened starting of Tuesday February 16th.
So, I get up at 5:30 as usual and go through steps as usual. As read the lesson for week 20, God is Spirit. Okay, been hearing that since Sunday School. We are created in His image. Okay, again old news. I am a spiritual being. Yesterdays news. Read it, put all my concentration into it. Now I need to go off the trail a little bit. I have always had a problem with Christians telling people “Christ alive in you”. I mean after all, what does that mean? Is it any wonder people look at at us as being goofy? Intellectually I kind of understood it and to be sure in times of prayer actually felt it. Now I have been moving in the progression of feeling it everyday. So, back on track,
I take it to sit. I feel a little bit odd because it was causing me so much trouble focusing. Ah well, give it another go tomorrow. As I’m getting ready for work it comes to me.
Here is the hard part to explain. It’s not me allowing The Spirit of God in, It’s me joining Him with what He is doing. I have no creativity myself, It’s Him in me. It’s not asking Him to join me, it’s me joining Him!!! The dreams that He placed in me, he will show me the way. It’s not me having Him rubber stamp my goals. It is actually being lead by Him. Og states greet people by saying “I love you”, what is he, nuts!!! In my will I can’t say that to everyone, even if it is in silence. But in God’s it became easy because He is love. God through me is where it became easier. This revelation is huge for me and the feeling of understanding, even a little bit of God in me broke some barriers.
This really isn’t an accurate depiction of what happened. It was far larger than this. Emotionally, spiritually, physically and intellectually. It was by far the largest jump I have made in MMKMA and maybe since I became a believer. I am humbled by it, and fell to my knees in gratitude. I have been walking on air since and look forward to the leading of Him.
God Bless and I LOVE YOU.
Over the last couple weeks some friends have commented on my blogs. That kind of blew me away and I added them to my index cards. Heck, I’m surprised when anyone looks to see what I’m up to!! Anyways, on to week 19.
Around the bend and on to the home stretch!!! Starting week 19, that was my attitude. Now I’m not so sure. Mark and Davene have commented more and more of us continuing on by ourselves. On my Franklin Makeover discipline is my strength that needs to be worked on the most. I know I have it, because God just would not have created me with the dreams and the vision of who I am to become without it!!! Chip some more cement and know I have it!!!! I’ll find it. It starts with the progression. Read, sit, move!!! It is amazing how the subby fights.
Week 19. Okay here is the goofy part, I’m not sure how this works but I do feel better when I do it. Stand in front of a mirror for at least 2 minutes in my Superman pose, reciting The Guy in the Glass, Do it now, I can be what I will to be. This is crazy!!! I find myself striking the pose when ever I need a little boost!!! Nuts!!!! I’m telling you!!!! This may be the most unusual thing that seems to work that I have ever done! Talk about a change of triggers, so easy and all I need is ME!!! I don’t need a mirror, privacy or a lot of room. I can also point to science. Incredible!!!
Live today as though it is your last. I regret that I wasn’t as loyal to the process as I should. But that was yesterday. I hope to fit everything into tomorrow. But that is tomorrow. So I have today. Like prisoner set free and being God’s greatest miracle today is what I am dealt and I have to play these cards. Lord help me to remember this!!!!
Am I happy? Am I Julie Andrews running in the meadow on top of a mountain singing, happy? Should I be? What a great week of seeing where the progression takes us. I always liked the statement “if you want to predict the future, create it” now it seems to be coming into focus. What makes me happy? My family? Yep! Earning a good living? Of course! My sports teams winning? When you cheer for Minnesota teams, absolutely! Those are outside events and situations but, underneath, am I happy?
MMKMA has been a course of clashes. What we brought into the study from our past clashing on a weekly basis clashing on new ways of thinking, although so much of it was written so long ago. Even for me personally, my Christian understanding, looking at it from a whole new perspective. A better perspective and a better relationship with The Almighty. Week 18 was a week of clashes. Happiness smashed into the fiber that controlled my life. I’m a cynic! If you asked me I put on a front of positiveness but below the surface I am a glass half empty guy. Don’t know how I got here, don’t like to admit it and, I sure in the hell don’t like it. I’m classic nothing ever is good enough!! Ugh!!! 99% of the world would trade places with me. Then the two questions, “What are you pretending to not to know?” and, “What would the person you’re trying to become do?”. Putting those into my everyday thinking really kicked the crap out of me.
Week 18 was a very eye opening week. When I don’t go through progression I only cripple myself. That, in turn, hurts those I love and those I meet. I went from, when will this damn thing be over to, is there enough time to pry my head out of my ass or just go get a glass stomach so I can see with it up there?
Am I happy? I have streaks of happiness. I’m not as happy as I should be. I’ve probably lost some time to most in MMKMA but the path is there, one step at a time! Do the progression and concentrate on kindness and gratitude. Some day you may hear “The hills are alive with the sound of music!” coming from a small town in Wisconsin!!!
A two week blog. I can’t remember a time in my life when I have felt as though something was so completely over my head. Compensation by Emerson, the weekly lessons by Haanel, and the mental diet were written by some very smart guys many years ago. Sometimes it takes all the focus I can muster to get through them. So I continue. Do I see change? Yes. Is it what I expect? Yes. Am I as far as I would have thought? Oh hell no!!!! But I see the effects all around me. Mark warned about drifting. I thought of a car drifting out of lane. I didn’t drift. I went off the road, rolled end over end, and the only thing that kept me from being thrown from the car was the seat belt called Cassandra.
The abyss. Something I saw on a chart several weeks ago was very real now!! Sitting in on last weeks webinar and Mark was absolutely describing my walk wit MMKMA and it wasn’t pleasant. I floated through High School. I was one of those guys that never studied for a test. Always took classes that were easy and I was good at. Same as college. I took keyboarding in college and got credit for it!!! Never have I been challenged in any academia. Not a brag just a fact that I always worked the system. MMKMA is so different!!! I don’t like getting my butt kicked. And I drifted into the abyss. It sucks being here. Then the question that every person should be asked “WHat are you pretending not to know?”. If that question was a box, every excuse in my life would flow out of it. That question was like a kick in the stomach. Since Sunday I have had that question pop up in almost everything I do. Oh, do I hate looking at myself through that filter!!!
This really looks like a negative post. Mark, Davenne and Cassandra thanks because when this is going on my wife actually looked at me and said “Really? I didn’t know you were going through that. You seemed to be much mellower and patient lately. I ‘ve seen a huge change in you”